The mattress story
I bought a new mattress from Amazon
My old mattress was killing me
It had to be done
It arrived in a box
It didn’t resemble a mattress at all
We laid it out
It needed to release it’s gasses
Bloody hell did it grow
To at least three times the height
This was a bloody amazing sight!
My mattress was magic it had grown through the night!
My old mattress went on it’s last trip
To the mattress cemetery
Of course the rubbish tip!
I put my new mattress on my bed
It was bloody high
I needed stilts or a ladder to get there
My bedroom ceiling had grown nearer
I feared I would be like Alice and hit my head
After all this trauma and I laid in my bed
I can report I have a bloody comfy bed
I haven’t fallen out of yet
I haven’t hit my head
My feet don’t reach the floor when I sit on my bed
All that said I can always use my stilts or my ladders to get into bed
It is a bloody comfy bloody high mattress!
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